56 www.ReadMPM.com | www.MountPleasantMagazine.com | www.MountPleasantPodcast.com JOKES ABOUT THE TIGERS Directions to Clemson: North till you smell it. West till you step in it! How do you compliment a Clemson fan? • Nice tooth How did the Clemson Tigers fan die from drinking milk? • The cow fell on him! What’s the difference between a Clemson football player and a dollar? • You can get four quarters out of a dollar. What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a Clemson fan? • A tattoo Why is there no ice in the drinks at Clemson? • The senior with the recipe graduated How do you know that the toothbrush was invented at Clemson? • If it was invented any place else it would have been called the teethbrush. Why can’t Clemson Tigers players go on the Internet? • They can’t put three ‘W’s together Hear about the Clemson guy who lost $50 on the football game? • He lost $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay Why was “the wave” banned in Memorial Stadium? • Two Tigers fans drowned last year Why did they cancel the Christmas play at Clemson last year? • They couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin. JOKES ABOUT THE GAMECOCKS The USC library burns. Three books are found. Two are found not colored in. • Mark DuVall, Mount Pleasant Magazine Facebook comment What do Gamecock fans do after they win an SEC championship? • They turn off the PlayStation. Why do South Carolina football players like smart women? • Opposites attract A Clemson grad and a Gamecock both jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first? • The Clemson grad because the Gamecock would have to stop to ask for directions. Did you hear about the USC grad that got fired from the M&M’S manufacturer? • He kept throwing out all the ones with ‘W.’ How many USC fans does it take to change a light bulb? • About 75,000. One to change the bulb and 74,999 to stand around and talk about how great the old one used to be. What does the average University of South Carolina student get on his SAT? • Drool How do you keep South Carolina Gamecocks out of your yard? • Put up goal posts How do Gamecocks’ brain cells die? • Alone What does a Gamecock grad call a Clemson Tiger grad in five years? • Boss More Laughs Here
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