Mount Pleasant Magazine March/April 2013

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Like other characters you
hear about only on special occasions –
the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus, for
example – once Easter is over, I typi-
cally don’t get much publicity or atten-
tion. Actually, now that I think about
it, Santa is talked about year-round way more than I am
– Christmas is practically a three-month-long lifestyle,
whereas Easter is just a brief excuse to eat something
shaped like an egg and filled with enough caramel that
it oozes out the sides. Not that I’m complaining. My
job is much easier than Santa’s gig – imagine all those
chimneys – but this year, I’d like to try something new.
So I’m shaking things up a bit.
So there’s this race in Mount Pleasant, South Caro-
lina, the city I tend to hang out in after the mayhem of
basket-delivery quiets down, where I can catch a few
dandelions in my teeth and hop around with the aver-
age Joe springtime bunnies. They call the race the Coo-
per River Bridge Run. It’s been going on forever, but,
to my knowledge, a rabbit has never claimed first place.
Heck, I doubt a rabbit has ever run at all, despite our
swiftness and likelihood of outrunning those silly hu-
man beings. That fable, the one about the turtle beating
the hare in some kind of competition? Yeah, that’s the
one. Thanks to that story, I think everyone forgets how
fast we long-eared types really are. Those bridge runners
are in for a surprise.
Luckily, this year’s big run is a few days after the big
basket hurrah, so I’ve had a couple of days to get ready.
The hardest part has been figuring out how to hide my
ears and whiskers. If people realize that I’m the Easter
Bunny while they’re running over the bridge, they’re
liable to try anything from demanding my autograph
to capturing me, dragging me to one of those trendy,
farm-to-table places and suggesting that I be turned into
a braised stew.
So here I am, trying to fit these ears of mine into a knit
cap. I’ve checked the weather; it’ll be a pleasant morning
but not so warm that people will stare at me because I’m
wearing the cap. The ski mask is another story, though.
I can’t figure out how else to disguise my rabbit face, but
I’ve heard from other rabbits – who have been too scared
to actually run but still sat and watched in the audience
– that you see all kinds of crazy stuff on that bridge and
some really off-the-wall outfits. So I should be all right.
Finally! It’s the day of the bridge run and I’ve disguised
myself cleverly – at least I think so. I’m wearing a ski mask
that covers most of my head and a wind suit that probably
won’t get me any fashion points, but at least no one will
see my cotton tail.
“Here’s a bottle of water.”
Suddenly, a stranger hands me a plastic bottle with
water inside. I open it, but I can’t figure out how to drink
it. Finally, I hop around a corner, spill it on the sidewalk
and lap it up. It’s refreshing. I want to thank the man
who gave me the water, but, by the time I get back, he’s
long gone.
“Take your places,” the loudspeaker booms at the
crowd, and I fumble my way into my group, otherwise
known as the fastest runners. But really, I don’t care how I
do in this race. I just want to have a new experience. The
blond woman next to me looks at me curiously.
“Good luck,” she says, eying my head-to-paw ensem-
ble. I lift my paw – cloaked in a mitten, naturally – and
wave to her in reply.
TheTourist and the Hare
An essay by
Evan Benjamin “the Easter” Bunny
Pondering
Editor’s Note: In 2008, Evan Benjamin Bunny, who was working as the Easter Bunny at
that time, decided to take on the Cooper River Bridge Run, since Easter fell unusually
early that year. Luckily for curious Mount Pleasant Magazine readers,
he wrote about the experience. Here is his story.