Mount Pleasant Magazine Nov/Dec 2016

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Ever been to Mount Pleasant Towne Centre in December? Or
to Northwoods Mall? Or the Mall of America, for that matter?
Then you’ve certainly seen me – or at least a
reasonable facsimile of me.
Let’s face it; it’s been a long time since
I was able to fly around the world spending hours in
department stores chortling “Ho, ho ho!”while noting
wide-eyed kids’ Christmas wish lists. Just think about
how the population has grown since I started
showing up at public places with tots on my
scarlet-clad knee.
When it all became toomuch for me to
handle by myself, I shanghaied some of my more
personable elves to jump into Santa outfits and
fill in. But then our Christmas toy production
line would fall behind. And these days, there’s
nothing worse than not churning out enough
action figures or iPads in a timely fashion.
So I’ve reluctantly turned my head when
“Claustrepreneurs” started offering training in how to be Santa when Santa is
occupied elsewhere.
One of those I kind of like is the Professional Santa Claus School of
Denver. They’ve been on the job 34 years now, offering comprehensive
education and training, courses, classes and conferences in how to be a
Santa. Of course, being in Colorado, an occasional graduate may be just a
little bit more laid back than some others!
Then there’s the School4Santas, with “campuses” in Tampa and Los
Angeles, claiming more than 3,000 students and training Mrs. Claus
impressionists as well. This school even offers a Princess cruise focused on all
things St. Nick.
For the tech-forward, prospective Santas can log onto The Santa Claus
Conservatory, an online school headed by longtime West Coast Kris Kringle
Ed Taylor. Its curriculum even includes a course on how to bleach your beard
for that snowy white North Pole look.
And I can’t neglect . Their dazzling array of
outfits even includes one in blue for celebrants of Chanukah, one holiday that
stresses me out a bit because it’s eight nights long!
I know there are plenty more places where even a neophyte layman can
emulate the one and only Santa Claus, but I’ll leave them for others to research.
As for me, I’m just going to hang around Towne Centre this holiday
season, maybe sit back with an adult beverage and watch somebody else
bring all that other good cheer.
Standing In for
St. Nicholas
SaNta SchoolS NatIoNwIde
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